Little Monsters

Dear Mistress Doomcannon:
I am a successful single villainness with a school-age child. Now, since the modern school system just doesn't seem to expose my little monster to enough evil influence (although I considered public school for a time), I've been thinking of home-schooling him in the Lore of Darkness. Any ideas as to what subjects I should focus on?
Yours evilly,
Much-Maligned Mother

Maligned Mother,

In this warm fuzzy age of unsavory "educational programs", it's hard to protect your children from what they are exposed to. The public education system could be softening their wicked hearts as we speak! With this in mind, I applaud your decision to homeschool. It will also provide the backbone for the social withdrawl needed to become a successful purveyor of malice. In terms of subject matter, there is no better place to start than the basics, like theft, murder, bribery, lying, manipulation... and don't forget to pass on the golden rule of "If they say not to do it, it's your job to make sure it gets done!". When it comes to teaching though, there's no better way to teach than by example. It's a proven fact. It could be a bonding experience too, like those "Take your son/daughter to work" days. There's no better way to spend a sunday afternoon then sitting side by side in the park with your little monsters, and watching a spandex-clad sucker get what's coming to them.